John K. Herder, Jr.
John Kyle Herder, Jr., (56) passed away on January 28, 2020. A graduate of Indiana University, John worked as a surgical tech for most of his life after learning his medical skills while serving in the Army. He was always good with his hands and loved doing projects around his house and fixing his cars.
John’s pride and joy in life were his two adult children, Kyle Herder (partner Alissa Smart, daughter Charlotte) and Alicia Herder (partner Marcel Pérez). In addition to his children and grandchild, John is survived by his parents John and Margaret Herder, his sibling Lē Isaac Weaver (wife Lisa DeWeese), his aunt Jean Herder (husband Gary died in 2006), his first wife and mother of his children, Linda Westfall (husband Chris), and his second wife, Kathy Herder.
We hope you’ll enjoy some pictures (maybe send us your favorites) and leave your memories in the comments.
John with Kyle and Alicia in 1996
Some Pictures
Have some pictures to share? Email them to johnpics@herderfamily.net and we’ll add them.
John with Alicia and Kyle (1996?)
John's children (1995?) Alicia and Kyle.
A recent photo of Kyle, John, and mom to Charlotte and Hunter, Alissa Smart
Chris and Linda Westfall, with Alicia and her partner, Marcel Perez
John's granddaughter Charlotte (Lottie) with best buddy Jack
John's school picture from when he was 15 years old.
The family, maybe around 1990.
Three generations of Herder men, Kyle, John Jr., John Sr.
All John wanted for Christmas in 1965 was a kitchen set, and he got it!
Christmas 1967. The kids with grandmother Bea Herder, mom Margaret, and aunt Jean Herder
Johnny and sibling Le (then known as Margety), 1967
Johnny and sibling Le (then known as Margety) with father John Sr. in 1967
Johnny and sibling Le (then known as Margety) with Aunt Jean Herder, 1967
The family at Stone Mountain around 1971 (not sure who the youngest child is!)
John with his first wife and mother of his kids, Linda Westfall, at Hien and Nga's wedding.
John watching TV with his parents in their den.
John and sibling, Le. Probably in the late 90s.
John and second wife Kathy.
John Kyle Herder, Jr., probably in the early 2010s.
John in 1965, two years old.
John in scrubs with a tiny Kyle, probably 1994.
John's granddaughter Charlotte (Lottie)
A family picture taken sometime in the 90s. John is with second wife Kathy in this pic.
Picture of John taken when he joined the Army.
A family picture with Linda, John Sr., Le (then known as Marg), John Jr. and Margaret
A family picture from the mid 2007 or 2008
The family with Uncle Gary Herder, early in 1966
John and Linda with baby Alicia, 1991
John at his wedding to Linda, with sibling Le (then Marg)
John with his parents on vacation, probably 1970.
John Kyle Herder, Jr's senior picture. He went to North Central High School.
Le's spouse, Lisa DeWeese, with Alicia while she was attending UCLA
Family picture, the last one before we lost Gary Herder to cancer in 2006
John's kindergarten school picture
Jane, Alicia, and Kyle and the Indiana State Fair
One of John's pictures from his time at Northview Junior High School
John and Le (Margety) in 1966. The Smokey the Bear dolls were brought back from Denver, where their great aunt Gwen lived.
Some Words
Have some words to share? Email them to johnwords@herderfamily.net and we’ll add them.
Alicia Writes…
My dad and I had a tumultuous relationship during my adult life mostly due to his alcoholism. We were able to reconnect back in October, and even though that meeting didn’t “fix” our relationship, we were able to respectfully talk to each other about the pain and suffering that my brother and I had dealt with these past 8 years.
If you or someone you love is dealing with addiction, please seek out help. Unfortunately there is a point of no return, but there is hope and there are people who love you despite what you’re going through.
As I’ve been telling people, I’m a cocktail of emotions right now —- and that’s okay. It’ll settle eventually. Right now I’m thankful that my dad is finally at ease and no longer has to hide within pain and suffering. This life is difficult so make sure to surround yourself with people who love and support you and always love and support them back.
Lē Writes…
The last several years I really wanted to help my brother, but I could do nothing except piss him off and be the target of his frustration and his discontent with life. He was not kind to me and I was afraid of him. I tried my best to endure this with patience and understanding, trying hard to keep in mind that when we were kids he endured being the target of my frustration and discontent.
Finally, as he prepared to slip away from this life, we were given two hours to be alone together. I read John O’Donohue to him, I sang “Love Prepare Me” and “Light is Returning,” I talked to him and told him I was sure the next thing to happen would be finding himself floating in peace, cradled in compassion.
When he slipped away, very gently and peacefully, for a second it was like everything all around us was illuminated in a flash of love, forgiving and tender. The feeling of that moment has become the most important thing I remember about my brother.
Share Your Memories
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