Margaret Durham Herder
Margaret (Marg) Durham Herder died July 11, 2025, in Indianapolis, Indiana, a city she called home for her entire life. She was 84 years old.
She was born on May 1, 1941, to Margaret Loeppert Durham and Samuel Melvin Durham in Indianapolis. She attended IPS School 84, graduated from Broad Ripple High School in 1959, and attended Purdue University as a journalism major. She married John Kyle Herder on March 25, 1961. In 2025 they celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary.
Margaret very specifically said that she didn’t want a “funeral.” She wanted a celebration, a fun time for her friends and family to get together to celebrate her life. We did our best to honor her wishes!
The celebration started at 11:30 in the parlor of Second Presbyterian Church, where we gathered to watch videos, look at pictures and memorabilia, snack on homemade cookies, and simply enjoy being together. At 1:00 we moveed to the sanctuary for a wonderful memorial service with:
Rev. Madison VanVeelen, Minister; Dr. John Allegar, Organist; Dr. Michelle Louer conducting the Sanctuary Choir; Rich Loeppert and Don Buckley, Readers.
In leiu of flowers, please consider donating to one of the following worthy causes, or your favorite charity: Second Presbyterian Church Memorial Gifts Fund; He Knows Your Name Ministry; IndyHumane.
The service was recorded and the video is posted below.
Margaret Anne Durham Herder
Memorial Service for Margaret Anne Durham Herder
Second Presbyterian Church, November 15, 2025
Memorial Celebration Photos
Second Presbyterian Church, November 15, 2025
(before the service)
Margaret’s Life
Origins: The Loepperts
The first thing you need to know is this: to understand Margaret and how she lived her life, you have to understand the Loepperts.
Margaret’s mom was Margaret Lydia Bertha Wilhelmena Loeppert. The Loepperts, not far removed from their origins in Germany, placed great importance on three things: education, music, and faith. All of the Loeppert children were expected to be exceptional. And they were.
Margaret Loeppert, born in 1915, went to college and studied nursing, becoming a registered nurse. She was very involved in church and an excellent pianist. She married a great guy named Samuel Melvin Durham, a southerner who was the first person to graduate from the University of Cincinnati’s co-op engineering program. Their daughter, also named Margaret, was born in 1941, after the deprivations of the Great Depression had started to wane.
Margaret Loeppert Durham, the first Margaret, was a stay-at-home mom who volunteered playing music for the Sunday school classes at their church, Second Presbyterian in Indianapolis, and also played services at local hospitals. Sam served the church as well. He was a deacon and a Ruling Elder, and served a term as Clerk of Session (in Presbyterian churches this is kind of like being board chair of the corporation). He was on the search committee that brought William H. Hudnut, III, to Indianapolis to serve as the senior pastor at Second Pres. Hudnut eventually became mayor of Indianapolis. The first Margaret taught her daughter that the only true calling is service to God and others. The phrase “God first, others second, yourself third” was often repeated. She was also an excellent seamstress and for years was involved in Second Church’s ladies sewing circles and women’s guilds. She was a wonderful grandmother, adored by her daughter’s children, Margety and Johnny. She eventually settled into teaching piano to young students out of her home. She died fairly young, in 1972, of heart disease stemming from having rheumatic fever as a child.
Sam worked and retired from at least three different careers, finally retiring from all work in his 80s. He was a man well-liked by his family, clients, coworkers, and neighbors. Sam loved to fish and could often be found out in his small boat or fishing for bluegills from the edge of the pond behind their house. He was also admired as a championship napper! He lived to be 93, dying of pancreatic cancer.
Four of the Loeppert Children (~1916)
Margaret with Sam’s Mother (1941)
Margaret as a child.
Sam and Margaret Durham in 1972
Margaret’s Early Life
Margaret Anne Durham grew up on the north side of Indianapolis, on 58th Street. That was back in a time when kids walked to nearby schools and played unsupervised with their neighborhood friends. Margaret went to School 84, as did the man she would eventually marry. John Herder lived several blocks away and was a year ahead of her in school, but John was a crossing guard at their school. Upon seeing him for the first time, she ran home and told her mother she had just seen “the most handsome boy.”
Like many Indianapolis kids of the time, Margaret attended Mrs. Gates Dance School, sometimes referred to as Mrs. Gates Cotillion, where she learned social etiquette and proper protocol on the dance floor.
Holidays and vacations were often spent with relatives, either the Loeppert relatives in Chicago or Sam’s brothers and sister in South Carolina and Florida. Myrtle Beach was a favorite vacation spot and not nearly as crowded and built up as it is today.
The Loeppert emphasis on education flowed down to Margaret, as she enjoyed and excelled at Broad Ripple High School. She found her interest in writing and journalism, serving as news bureau head during her senior year and writing for the Indianapolis Star teen interest publication, The Teen Star.
When that “most handsome boy” asked her to the Military Ball during his freshman year at Purdue (she was a senior at Broad Ripple) she got so excited she started jumping around the living room and tripped and broke her leg! But that mishap didn’t dull their romance.
Margaret was also active at Second Presbyterian Church, attending services and other events with her parents and getting “confirmed” in the 9th grade.
She and her friends and family spent a lot of time at the Riviera Club (Rivie) at Illinois and 56th Street, home to a large pool, tennis courts, a snack bar, and a nice dining room that was quite busy on holidays. She learned how to swim at Rivie and earned her lifesaving certification.
When it came time for college, she headed up to the campus of Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana, where she joined the Alpha Chi Omega sorority and majored in journalism. John was a mechanical engineering student there. She left college and the sorority when she married John on March 25, 1961.
(Click images to enlarge.)
Photos from the 1959 Broad Ripple High School yearbook.
Look closely. You can only see one of Margaret’s legs in this 1959 Broad Ripple yearbook ad. Underneath that dress, on the chair, is her other leg, in a cast!
Married Life with John
And that brings us to the second thing you need to know about Margaret. She loved John Herder. She didn’t just tolerate him; she loved him deeply for their entire 64 years of marriage. He was her number one.
They started their life together in Married Student Housing at Purdue, moving back to Indianapolis after graduation. Margaret had two children in quick succession, a girl also named Margaret (Marg, who now identifies as a non-binary person named Le Isaac Weaver) and a boy named after John, John Kyle Herder, Jr. The kids were two years apart in age. They settled in a little three-bedroom house at 58th and Oakland and lived there for most of a decade.
As was the tradition for women at that time, Margaret spent her time raising children, making sure the house was well tended, meals were cooked, and laundry was done. She enjoyed entertaining and eating out with a dear group of friends who mostly met through church.
She and the kids spent nearly every summer morning for years at Rivie, just like she had in her own childhood. Several neighborhood families belonged to the club, and they would go together and share a couple sundecks. The moms would chat and sunbathe as the kids took swimming lessons and played in the water.
In 1972 they moved to Greenbriar to take advantage of Washington Township’s school system. They lived in that same house throughout the rest of Margaret’s life.
She spent the next several years staying busy with church and other volunteer work, attending Marg and John’s school and sporting events, and tending to the never-ending work of keeping things going at home.
After the kids had grown and left the house, she started her own career as a certified lighting designer. She designed the lighting for many homes in Indianapolis and the suburbs and was even the lighting designer for an Indianapolis Dream Home.
Years later Margaret and John became grandparents (John’s children, Alicia and Kyle) and found incredible joy in spending time with them, attending their school and sporting events, and even taking them frequently to Rivie for fun and, of course, the obligatory swimming lessons.
A Young John Herder
Margaret and John at a High School Dance (1958)
The Herder Family in 1964
John and Margaret in 2020
Margaret and a young Lottie at the piano.
(l to r) Lisa, John, Margaret, Alissa, Lottie, Hunter, Le, and Kyle in 2022
Margaret sending Pampers coupons for the great grandkids!
Church Music Program
In 1966 Robert (Bob) Shepfer became the organist and choirmaster at Second Presbyterian. Margaret enrolled little Margety in the new choir school program and began volunteering with the children’s choirs that same year. She created the role of “choir mother,” which involved keeping the kids in their seats, helping one-on-one when a child had trouble learning to sing, assigning robes and making sure they were worn properly for performances, and generally riding herd on the kids so “Mr. Shepfer” could teach them the music they would sing during select Sunday services. They made quite a team, Bob Shepfer and Margaret Herder. Before long the children’s choir program was growing, with waiting lists and kids that spent years in the program. They took the show on the road and presented workshops around the Midwest, helping other choir directors create better programs. Margaret used her journalism skills to write feature articles in national choir publications. Choristers Guild, a national organization, published books for children written by Margaret and illustrated by Sue Peebles, the most successful of which is The End/Beginning, a book for Christian children about death.
Eventually others took over various choir mother duties as Bob neared retirement. But Margaret stayed an active member of the adult choir until 2020, a tenure of more than 50 years serving the church through music.
During her time at Second Church, she also served on the Board of Deacons and as a Ruling Elder. She was the first female Clerk of Session in the church’s history. She was on the committee that brought Sr. Pastor Richard S. Armstrong to the church when William Hudnut retired from the role to pursue politics.
Margaret and John in 2004 at church
Margaret leading Carol Choir in 2004 (with Alicia on the right)
Margaret during kid’s choir practice around 1975
Second Presbyterian Church Indianapolis
photo by Serge Melki via Wikipedia
Margaret and other choir members in Germany
Robert Shepfer in 1968
Photo via The Diapason
Other Pursuits and Activities
Margaret loved to socialize and meet people through her volunteer work and social activities. When her children were young, she worked with local school systems as a volunteer reading tutor and participated in volunteer organizations like the Junior League of Indianapolis.
Later in her life she joined many local and national organizations, often filling leadership roles when needed, including The Players, the Society of Indiana Pioneers, Jamestown Society, Daughters of the American Revolution, National Society of the Colonial Dames of America in Indiana, Indianapolis Women’s Club, Corvette Indy, Children’s Bureau Auxiliary, Arbutus Garden Club, Scottish Society of Indianapolis, and the Fortnightly Literary Club.
She and John liked to travel and made yearly trips to Florida and Arizona and visited friends around the country.
Trips to Loeppert family reunions continued throughout her life, where she would catch up with her first cousins and their kids.
Her love of entertaining was a constant. She and John were known for their annual Christmas parties, as well as a dinner the night before the Indy 500 Race for out-of-town guests and friends going to the race the next day.
Toni Perrin and Margaret during one of their frequent trips to Arizona
Corvette Club Corvettes lined up and ready to go!
Various Name Badges from Clubs and Organizations
Fortnightly gals in 2024
(l to r: Nancy Morris, Margaret, Jamia Jacobsen, and Marjorie Kienle)
Photo by MJ Mitchell
(This is just a slideshow of images, no sound.)
Her Outlook
Margaret had a unique outlook on life. It was important to her to be helpful, gracious, and cheerful toward everyone. She was very slow to anger and almost always thoughtful and smiling. She held fast to what she had learned as a child: “God first, others second, yourself third.” She believed and often said that if you give of yourself, much will be returned to you. Even in her final month, when she was in pain, she continued to compliment and cheerfully interact with her caregivers, most of whom were women. “Women tend and befriend,” she would tell them. She received almost a hundred greeting cards from friends during the last month of her life. She was loved by many.
And that’s the third thing you need to know about Margaret. To her, one of the most important things you can do with your life is to develop and demonstrate the best of yourself, to everyone, all the time.
“If you give of yourself, much will be returned to you.”
Family Information
Marg is survived by her husband, John Kyle Herder, her child, Le Isaac Weaver, and Le’s wife, Lisa DeWeese. Her son, John Kyle Herder, Jr., and brother-in-law Gary Thomas Herder preceded her in death. Also surviving are her grandchildren, Alicia Herder (fiancé, Marcel Pérez) and Kyle Herder (partner, Lyndsey Hess); their mother, Linda Westfall (husband, Chris); great-grandchildren, Charlotte (Lottie) and Hunter Herder; their mother, Alissa Smart; family members, Hien, Nga, and Dr. Jane Duong (husband, Dr. Sean Curtis, sons Ben and Henry Curtis); and sister-in-law Jean Herder.
Margaret’s Book
Late in the 1970s, Margaret and her friend, Sue Peebles, wrote a series of books for children. The most popular of them was The End Beginning, published in 1978 by Choresters Guild. The following is an article published in The Indianapolis Star, September 24, 1978.
‘THE BEGINNING’ NOT END
Book For Children on Dying
By Betsy Halliday
“The End” – strike that! – “The Beginning” is a story with no ending, just a beginning.
It is a “simple, non-threatening look at death and emotions surrounding that experience which affects the child, his family and his world,” according to Margaret Herder, author of the children’s storybook on dying. She is a veteran observer of that young world as perennial choirmother of Second Presbyterian Church’s youth choirs.
Her friend and fellow Second Presbyterian member Sue Peebles illustrated the 32-page paperback, published by Choristers Guild of Dallas, Texas.
The artist observes that Mrs. Herder’s text offers “a positive feeling; once the tears are over, a good feeling.”
THE TITLE (in which the word “End” is crossed out leaving only “The Beginning”) reveals the story’s message. Targeted primarily for youngsters in elementary grades, the book “answers a crying need,” says the author.
Mrs. Herder believes that mother-henning 150 children in the youth choirs qualifies her for tackling the topic. “For 17 years I’ve heard their fears, know what makes them wake up at night.”
THE DEATH of her own mother started her on the book. “I thought, how would she want me to explain her death to my two children, her only grandchildren? She was a gentle woman and would not want to frighten them.”
Earlier Mrs. Herder had been cajoled by the church’s music director, Robert Shepfer, to write colorful, interesting, easy study guides on various topics for the choir children. “I’m like the old lady in the shoe,” rambles the choirmother. “The only difference is I did know what to do. But for years I was too busy to write. I was up to my elbows in Girl Scouts.”
Then, at a choir workshop in Louisville, Ky., Mrs. Herder recounts, “Bob stood up before the thousands of professionals attending and told how Sue and I were in the process of writing different books and named titles. We were stuck!”
Mrs. Herder was a journalism major at Purdue. “But everything I know about journalism I owe to Ruth Marie Griggs,” retired journalism teacher at Broad Ripple High School. What professional writing she has done, has been “second to family.”
The author-illustrator team has completed “1 + 1 = 1”, a storybook for children on marriage. It is going the round of publishing houses and Mrs. Peebles agonizes over one rejection slip explaining, “One of the largest publishers wrote that marriage is not a relevant topic.”
A CHILD’S book about divorce is ready for Mrs. Peebles’ illustrations. Mrs. Herder views divorce as a “Life Change” and so titled the book. She is plotting future books on the [neuro-divergent] and terminal illness.
She wants to write only for young children – “the most important group. They’re still moldable.” She enjoys helping children “to understand life decisions before they have to make them.”
It is a beautiful feeling, Mrs. Herder says, “to know that Sue’s and my lives have made a difference. Sort of humbling, too.”
But glad? “Oh yes.”
Her church’s clergymen gave their blessings, adding that the trouble with theological publications for children is that they are written by theologians and are too deep in dogma.
Dr. George Boyle, a pastoral counselor now in private practice, helped the author with technical points. Her approach, she says, is as “nondenominational as possible.” The basis is “Christian, but low-key Christian.”
The text unfolded during the summer of 1976 while Mrs. Herder sunbathed at the Riviera Club. “I would take my clipboard along and while the children were backstroking, I was writing.”
The completed manuscript was given to Mrs. Peebles “and I divided the pages as I saw fit,” dividing the story on various pages while preparing the layout. “And Sue sees fit beautifully,” the author adds pointing to colorful, clever characters – all smiling illustrating the book’s positive approach.
Mrs. Peebles’ media is felt tip pens. She worked nights leaving a new page, each day, on the coffee table for critiquing by her two daughters.
The storybook was bought by Choristers Guild, the largest publishing house for choir schools. Author and artist rejoice that the price has been kept to $1.85. It has been circulated throughout the United States and will be available at the church’s “Old-Fashioned Bazaar” on· Nov. 9. It is in book stores as well.
“Greedy souls that we are,” Mrs. Herder observes, “the profits are second to the letters we have received. We never dreamed we would touch so many lives.”
Author and artist, full-time homemakers with supportive husbands, are members of the Auxiliary to the Children’s Bureau, ordained deacons in their church, and members of Alpha Chi Omega Sorority.
Mrs. Peebles, an art major at DePauw University, feels, “I’m more of a craftsy person than artist and am hooked for posters and publicity” by volunteer organizations. She says illustrating children’s books “is down my alley, frankly.”
A special printing of the book was authorized by the publisher to celebrate Margaret’s life. Copies were given to those who attended the celebration and memorial service, and there are a few left. If you know of a young person or a church library (or similar) that would appreciate getting a copy of this book, please email book@herderfamily.net. All you have to pay for is the postage.
Margaret Herder (left) and Sue Peebles (right)
Star Photo by Jerry Clark
Some Pictures
Have some pictures to share? Email them to margpics@herderfamily.net and we’ll add them.
Margaret Durham, Margaret's mother
Margaret and Margety, 1964
Margaret with cousins (l to r) Rich, Ted Bargmann, Debbie Connor, Rosalie Bargmann
The family, sometime around 1990
The family with Gary Herder and Cousin Bill in 1964
Family portrait around 2008
Family portraitin 2006
Margaret with Johnny and his kitchen, Christmas 1965
Margaret, Marg, Lisa, John in Boulder, CO
Lyndsey, Leon, Kyle, Hunter, and Lottie 2025
Linda, John, Marg, John Jr., and Margaret
Linda, Kyle, and Margaret
Loeppert Family reunion, around 2017
John and Margaret's Wedding Photo
Marg, Margaret, Cousin Rosalie
Margaret and Alicia
Margaret and Alicia
Margaret and her dad, Sam Durham
Margaret and John in LA
Margaret and Lisa
Hunter, John, Alissa, Margaret, Lottie, and Kyle, 2022
Margaret, John, and Johnny around 1969
John and Margaret on vacation in Florida
Margaret in 2008
Margaret and Kyle at the Riviera Club
Bea Herder, Margaret, Johnny, Margety, and Jean (1966?)
Sam and Geneva's Wedding, The Wetzels, Sam and Geneva, The Herders
Florida Friends
Share Your Words
Have some words to share? Email them to margwords@herderfamily.net and we’ll add them.
Great Aunt Margaret Steadtke
Before and at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, Margaret’s grandfather, Adam Loeppert, and his brother, Heinrich Loeppert, her great uncle Heinrich, were both ministers. To prepare for the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair, the organizers recruited workers from all over Europe to build and furnish the buildings. They went to Italy for stonemasons; they went to England and Germany for carpenters and cabinetmakers, etc. Needing the work, many heeded the call and flocked to the greater Chicago area. To find housing they could afford, some went to the farthest ends of the existing railroad lines. For example, Great Uncle August Steadtke settled in Homewood with his family: the southernmost outpost!
If young men came over single, Adam and Heinrich would go to work to find them nice young German girls from their congregations for them to marry.
After Great Uncle August Steadtke settled in Homewood with his wife and 2 young children, his wife suddenly took ill and died. It was unheard of for a man to raise his children alone back then, not to mention it would have been nearly impossible for him to hold down his job. Margaret’s grandfather Adam held August in high regard. He was a steady chap, a hard worker, and a devoted Christian. So, as one did, Adam wrote home to the family in Germany and asked (told?) his sister Margaret to come over and marry him.
Sight unseen, with only her brother’s word on August’s character, with no children of her own, Margaret’s great-aunt Margaret sailed to the New World, crossed the land (presumably) by railroad, met her brother in Chicago, married August Steadtke, and raised his two young children as her own.
Years ago I gave Margaret their elaborate (and HUGE) wedding certificate, which I believe she hung in her home. [It did!] I don’t know that the wedding was elaborate. I don’t have that kind of detail on the story.
But what I feel in my heart is that it took an incredible heart, strength of character and soul, and faith in her brother for your Margaret’s great-aunt Margaret to do what she did. Her legacy not only lived on in the family in the beautiful children she raised (her son Paul was my dad’s favorite and closest cousin), but it also lives on in the name Adam Loeppert and Anna Breslich gave to their daughter, Margaret Loeppert Durham. It then lived on in the name given to our sweet Margaret Anne. Although Le has since changed their name, I believe very deeply that it also lives on in their heart, in the courage they show every day of their life. — Bessie (Elizabeth) Matthews (Margaret’s first cousin)
It was a pleasure and honor to work closely with Marg when I was president of NSCDA in Indiana 2024-2025 as well as previous years. She was a stickler for detail, something greatly appreciated, especially when it involved reservations for our big dinner events. She was always a trooper and she always went the extra mile to be sure everything was perfect. She was so fortunate to have spent her whole life in Indianapolis–and thus did so much for our community in so many ways and with so many socially committed organizations. Our Indiana Society will miss Marg, but we will especially remember her dedication and enthusiasm for history and historical preservation. — Kathryn Wilsey Lerch
Marg was the most gracious and sincere person I have ever known. It was a joy to be with her wherever she was. — Quin Paul
Mrs Herder was the quintessential church lady. Growing up in choir, she made the choir run smoothly. Mrs Herder was kind, helpful and cheerful. For many years I saw her as what a Christian should be and do. I give thanks for her life, her exhaustive service and the ways she sought to love Lē and John. Rest in peace and rise in glory. — Julie Ann Johnson
Mrs. Herder was such a kind person. She never had an unkind thing to say about anyone. She always saw everything as positive, always chose only to see the silver lining. When I knew Mrs. Herder, her favorite word was ‘super’! Everything, in her eyes, was ‘SUPER!’ As teens, we poked fun at her cheerfulness, just as all teens make fun of the older generations. But I have often remembered her enthusiasm throughout the 40+ years since I last saw her, and I tried always to remember to see things in my world as SUPER!, to find the silver lining.
It sounds just like Mrs. Herder to have an ailing body, and yet still be getting up everyday oblivious to it. She chose to ignore pain and suffering and see the world through rose-colored glasses. That’s a means to hold gratitude, abundant love, and happiness in one’s heart. I am relieved she did not suffer through years of ineffective treatments as so many others do.
I also remember Mrs. Herder as being a woman of great faith. I trust that she was unafraid to leave this earth and reunite with the spirit of her son, John, and other family and loved ones.
May we all take lesson from the way she lived her life. She was one super lady! I know she is deeply loved and will be greatly missed. My condolences to Lē and to all who grieve for the loss of her. — Maria (Butsch) Valentine
Thank you for pouring this much time and labor into a website telling Margaret’s life story so everyone can love her as much as you do. Sending wishes for peace and comfort to you and all who mourn. — Alena Ruggerio
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